I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
