woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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