K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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