Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
