"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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