I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Never underestimate the power of titties
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
