btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We have started to decorate penises.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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