Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize