I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
