I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
