As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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