3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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