what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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