I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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