don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
