If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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