She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
