Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
