Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
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I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
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Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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