So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
