We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
dude. I can hear the air.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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