they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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