NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
