people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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