how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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