Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
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