Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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