i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
