I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
