After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Fuck appropriateness.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
