and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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