but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
