he shaved USA in his pubs
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
