From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
