Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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