ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
