how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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