He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
