I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I didn't notice because vodka
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
