dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Randomize
