My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
