I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
