we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
