there's paper in my vomit.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
So squirting runs in the family.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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