I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
people are starting to question the shark bite story
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
