You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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