Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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