just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
