My first STD was from a foam party
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize