Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal

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  (773): Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal http://tfl.nu/usjw
  Replies (29) Good night (22389) Bad night (1106)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.

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  (303): If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed. http://tfl.nu/n5xo
  Replies (9) Good night (3392) Bad night (865)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.

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  (978): I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night. http://tfl.nu/sljh
  Replies (7) Good night (2993) Bad night (705)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.

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  (515): Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn. http://tfl.nu/kzr9
  Replies (28) Good night (1033) Bad night (5469)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich

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  (717): Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich http://tfl.nu/kdwm
  Replies (5) Good night (841) Bad night (2424)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?

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  (225): So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand? http://tfl.nu/cltx
  Replies (4) Good night (1930) Bad night (1627)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...

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  (727): Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo... http://tfl.nu/pcov
  Replies (13) Good night (2844) Bad night (1040)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless

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  (774): Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless http://tfl.nu/p1o5
  Replies (4) Good night (1929) Bad night (759)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch

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  (203): we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch http://tfl.nu/wvpl
  Replies (7) Good night (2547) Bad night (812)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  You're the worst gay friend ever.

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  (314): No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like? (1-314): You're the worst gay friend ever. http://tfl.nu/4trc
  Replies (2) Good night (1784) Bad night (799)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!

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  (519): My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!! http://tfl.nu/hi1l
  Replies (6) Good night (1906) Bad night (638)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual

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  (217): Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual http://tfl.nu/ib6l
  Replies (2) Good night (653) Bad night (413)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend

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  (607): Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend http://tfl.nu/0ja4
  Replies (2) Good night (789) Bad night (462)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives

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  (215): I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives http://tfl.nu/psy5
  Replies (4) Good night (417) Bad night (600)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach

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  (717): Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach http://tfl.nu/vivy
  Replies (2) Good night (1119) Bad night (351)

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