Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask

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  (202): Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask http://tfl.nu/68m0
  Replies (8) Good night (1647) Bad night (525)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome

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  (217): the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome http://tfl.nu/yox5
  Replies (11) Good night (1579) Bad night (538)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park

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  (917): It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park http://tfl.nu/yu5j
  Replies (29) Good night (826) Bad night (3061)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.

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  (301): just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play. http://tfl.nu/cpw3
  Replies (20) Good night (4222) Bad night (786)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.

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  (+44): the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men. http://tfl.nu/tbrv
  Replies (19) Good night (4077) Bad night (1095)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...

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  (615): But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume... http://tfl.nu/x6iy
  Replies (5) Good night (4572) Bad night (884)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.

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  (517): And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single. http://tfl.nu/lqam
  Replies (7) Good night (1330) Bad night (3336)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.

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  (602): Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility. http://tfl.nu/8fpl
  Replies (2) Good night (649) Bad night (1068)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Like handprints on my lower back...

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  (615): Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines. (615): Like handprints on my lower back... http://tfl.nu/9y3r
  Replies (3) Good night (2019) Bad night (547)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future

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  (516): Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future http://tfl.nu/gu0v
  Replies (15) Good night (985) Bad night (1808)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.

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  (318): She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust. http://tfl.nu/o3wc
  Replies (4) Good night (789) Bad night (433)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him

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  (617): We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him http://tfl.nu/mgdf
  Replies (8) Good night (726) Bad night (547)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.

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  (315): It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people. http://tfl.nu/powz
  Replies (2) Good night (1041) Bad night (301)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning

  (303): View more from Colorado

  you were serious about those bagels

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  (303): you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning (303): you were serious about those bagels http://tfl.nu/cmdj
  Replies (3) Good night (616) Bad night (279)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.

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  (314): The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise. http://tfl.nu/hqv3
  Replies (5) Good night (426) Bad night (380)

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