Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
i now understand why vodka
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.