Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(620): View more from Kansas

Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.

(1-620): View more from Kansas

No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.

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(620): Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night. (1-620): No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man. http://tfl.nu/p24k

Replies (9) Good night (1508) Bad night (580)
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(630): View more from Illinois

The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.

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(630): The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum. http://tfl.nu/5o8q

Replies (9) Good night (4508) Bad night (879)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.

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(401): i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much. http://tfl.nu/qwgv

Replies (17) Good night (3903) Bad night (688)
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(631): View more from New York

if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you

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(631): if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you http://tfl.nu/ij50

Replies (27) Good night (3415) Bad night (4178)
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(678): View more from Georgia

I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.

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(678): I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present. http://tfl.nu/aj43

Replies (16) Good night (5680) Bad night (1217)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.

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(615): The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted. http://tfl.nu/wtc2

Replies (4) Good night (3201) Bad night (1027)
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(330): View more from Ohio

beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it

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(330): beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it http://tfl.nu/hhxp

Replies (5) Good night (3048) Bad night (1192)
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(614): View more from Ohio

There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.

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(614): There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out. http://tfl.nu/1cqt

Replies (6) Good night (2434) Bad night (1620)
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(757): View more from Virginia

I believe some people would call last night an orgy.

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(757): I believe some people would call last night an orgy. http://tfl.nu/5qwc

Replies (7) Good night (3910) Bad night (892)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"

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(307): It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically" http://tfl.nu/yzem

Replies (7) Good night (653) Bad night (1308)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

so you are graduating this semester.

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(484): my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete. (215): so you are graduating this semester. http://tfl.nu/j7mj

Replies (3) Good night (1408) Bad night (564)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?

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(832): I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal? http://tfl.nu/mk58

Replies (7) Good night (1069) Bad night (470)
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(940): View more from Texas

Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!

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(940): Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?! http://tfl.nu/l6ig

Replies (6) Good night (405) Bad night (1210)
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(+61): View more from Australia

IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES

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(+61): IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES http://tfl.nu/noxs

Replies (6) Good night (901) Bad night (364)
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(727): View more from Florida

I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.

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(727): I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon. http://tfl.nu/enfa

Replies (10) Good night (525) Bad night (436)

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