So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.