just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
