He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
