The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize