I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
