Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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