so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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