Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I cut my penus on the lid.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
